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I'm Still Learning to Let Go

by pilgrim house

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1.
Sundre 02:56
The barren tree grows next to the evergreen Beneath a painted sky as big as you've ever seen You'll end up staring longer than you'd think you might Though the mountains lie beyond our line of sight I heard about a cougar that lives out in the snow I went looking for a fight but he didn't show And the light will fade on you before you know You better see all that you can before it goes Because your rest is on the other side of surrender of your pride There's peace, it's on the other side We're letting go to find You can walk a path and never know it's beautiful But horizon's shine bright at nightfall Take solace in the million stars for miles Because it might be getting dark for a little while But your rest is on the other side of surrender of your pride There's peace, it's on the other side We're letting go to find When you're in need just look up, just look up With eyes to see there's quite enough to fill your cup Don't pretend you're better off alone You were made to have a home Get lost out in the stars that span the night And keep a weather eye for the morning light
2.
My Keeper 04:00
I lift my eyes // Where does my help come from? // My help comes from the Lord who made the earth and sun My feet will not be moved, because my Father never sleeps // And he never fails to guard the ones he keeps He is my keeper, the shade at my right hand Heaven won't harm me, nor will the strength of man Because he guards my steps, and he guards my life And I will not be moved He's my keeper
3.
My Longing 05:02
Feels like a storm inside I don't know the reason why But I can't seem to let it go I'm digging a shallow grave Forsaking the peace I crave Somehow I'm always last to know I give you my longing Stir up the water that's alive inside of me Searching me through and through There's hope here I know there's a song inside to lift my head again Giving my heart to you They say when you fail you learn But oh how the failures burn I don't know if I can take much more I know what you gave me then Never to thirst again But I sure feel thirsty now I give you my longing Stir up the water that's alive inside of me Searching me through and through Hope is a fire And I know there's a song inside to lift my head again Giving my heart to you It's more than I know how to say But I know that when I feel this way All that's left to do is run to you and lift my hands up My life is rushing by A tangle of lows and highs Tell me why I feel incomplete Things that I used to love I'm growing uncertain of I can't trust my wandering feet
4.
Dark Days 04:42
Dark days, snow and rain, or burning haze It's all the same to my fallow heart Eye's see hidden things, a barrier that's set between me and who I could be I'd tell you but you wouldn't understand The bones we buried in the shifting sand Light fades, dim to gray, but slow enough So as not to faze my measured mind In daylight this cave might have saved me from what I couldn't fight But I'm alright Down here I might be safe but I'm alone Can I leave behind this home my heart has known? One dark day, drowning in my buried treasure I'd made a home behind these safety walls They give way to a Jesus ocean Where particles of light surround me in the night And I'm free Light bends, floating in a gentle water without end But restless, still Unbound, get turned around and tempted to swim right back down But that home is gone I'd swim to you but in my bones I know There's no use in trying to get there on my own One dark day, I left behind my buried treasure The home I made behind those safety walls That gave way to a Jesus ocean Particles of light surround me in the night Freedom don't come easy I've run far enough to know Love can't be purchased I'm still learning to let go On dark days I remember buried treasure The home I'd made behind those safety walls That gave way to a Jesus ocean Where particles of light surround me in the night
5.
Little brown bird Winged and wonderful Haven't you heard? No need for words Blink the dark away Little brown bird Known from the start That you're a miracle Burned in our hearts Your frame formed in part What's you're hurry bird? Early to start Bound to keep your life, but cords unwind And you'll be free Free to fly to another tree Light on up to a further branch Because love is your destiny No matter what your circumstance Your father's got a hopeful soul And your mom will keep an eye on you Showing us the things that grace can do Taking your time While we catch our breath Give us a sign Hoping you'll find The keys to all the doors One at a time You're a miracle Little brown bird
6.
Tremble 04:05
Like a house in the thunder when the skies are torn asunder Filled with hope, filled with wonder, I tremble I tremble as your mighty voice calls the sinner's name And your matchless love washes out my shame When you shake the heavens life unfolds In your presence I am whole And I tremble Peace a whisper in the night Love, the blind man restored to sight All the darkness gives way to light And I tremble
7.
Anchored 03:49
A raging storm // I've seen a few in my day, but this one turns my heart gray // I cry aloud "Oh, save me Lord, if you can" // he says, "Don't you know who I am?" Who is this man? // the wind and waves obey him // why am I still afraid then? // he knows my name // his mercy sets the tides free and he walks beside me Rise and fall I'm rolling with the waves // but I'm anchored to Jesus by a faith that's growing every stronger // growing ever stronger. I hear a voice like a thousand demons begging for their freedom // they know his name // I tremble as they bow low in my savior's shadow And then he smiles // he raises up the outcast, his mind his own at long last // lion and lamb // his enemies all fear him, and I get to be near him
8.
Headed Home 03:44
I'm headed home // a kind of home // but on the edge I feel alone // comforter, make me know your peace If I dive in to waters deep, the great unknown, would you jump with me? // can I be free? // free enough to fall Where who I am gets lost inside of gentle hands // I come alive in wind and fire // consuming flame, but I climb higher // 'til I'm not afraid Unyielding spray of sea and foam // it purifies the depths of soul // discovering just how loved we are This mountainside, un-compromised // invited up to greater heights // where I am known as I was made to be

about

This is a small collection of my early work. I wrote these songs during a ten-year span of living cross-culturally in a small community. I recorded them in living rooms as best I could at the time. It can be hard to share a thing when you can see all its flaws. I'm still learning to let go of that anxiety. But what I like about these songs is how they mark a period of my life, a season characterized by change, deepening, and journey.

credits

released October 29, 2020

Album cover photo credit: Atharva Tulsi

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about

pilgrim house Jacksonville, Florida

singer-songwriter, boys choir dropout, aspiring nomad.

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